My struggle with society growing up as a white girl in new york

Originally, it was just a safe space for me to talk about my life and adventures, then it became a platform for me to practice my music journalism by reviewing albums, but then somewhere along the way I lost track of all of that in an abundance of things, like my exams, internships, portfolio expanding, maintaining friendships, working etc. And as a result my self-esteem sort of plummeted, especially in a creative sense.

My struggle with society growing up as a white girl in new york

Swift Ever since I can remember, I have been in a fight against my weight. When I was eight years old, I went to Justice with my mom to buy back-to-school clothes. She picked a white shirt with a bedazzled flower accent and light blue jeans for me to try on.

The shirt was too snug. I remember walking out the dressing room feeling so disappointed with myself as I watched other girls posing in front of the mirror, their new clothes fitting them with ease.

In seventh grade, I would eat just one apple and one can of tuna everyday. By the time I got to PE, my stomach would roar as I stepped to the white line, ready to run that ever-draining meter race.

Later, I would eat dinner and laugh with my parents at the table, pretending to wipe my face… all the while spitting my food into my napkin. In order to manage my weight loss, I would throw up my food and take laxatives on a regular.

Working out two to four times a day was not unnatural for me. I would put myself through intense and grueling workouts all the while looking at celebrities and models as a means of body inspiration. While my personal battle with my weight was kept in-house between my family and I, there are many people suffering with eating disorders—loudly, painfully, and deeply.

According to the National Eating Disorders Association NEDA20 million women and 10 million men in the United States suffer from a clinically significant disorder at some time in their life, including anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, or other specified feeding or eating disorder OSFED.

Body dissatisfaction is the best-known contributor to the the development of anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. Yet for many reasons, cases are not likely to be reported. According to NEDA, by age 6, girls start to express concerns about their weight and shape, with 40 percent to 60 percent of elementary school girls, ages 6being concerned about their weight or becoming too fat.

Unfortunately, for many of us, this concern endures through life. Over the past few years, studies show that there has been increasing evidence of disordered eating occurring among racial and ethnic minorities in the United States.

My struggle with society growing up as a white girl in new york

However, the statistics on how eating disorders are affecting girls and women of color are unknown. Much of this is due to the historically biased view that eating disorders only affect white women. Last year, year old Kelly Mayhew and year old Daysha Phillips died after receiving butt injections while in basements and hotels Queens, New York and St.

Many celebrities such as Amber RoseCiara, and Kim Kardashian endorse the use of waist trainers, despite the various health effects it may presentsuch as organ damage, if worn over long periods of time.

In a cover story for Essence, Jada Pinkett-Smith even admitted her personal struggles with her weight and body image: Black men like their women with a little meat.

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All my life Black men have told me how flawed I am. The demand by society for Black girls and women to look a certain way or to maintain a certain body image has and can cause much stress, anxiety, and emotional, physical, and even psychological harm.

Even with my extensive weight loss, I still was not satisfied. I became very obsessive about everything concerning my weight. I was more than a size 6 frame, or my daily caloric intake. After counseling and much-needed reconciliation and forgiveness with my body and myself, I no longer wished that I was beautiful.

I began to believe that I am beautiful… and always was. Although I still struggle with my weight at times, I can say that I see myself as beautiful, witty, smart, lovely, and unequivocally me. No matter what weight I may be. A writer and truth-seeker at heart, Swift is contributing writer at For Harriet.

You can follow her on Twitter jaimeeswift.Growing up in a predominantly white area in the UK (no, seriously the population of minorities is % in my area and that’s all the minority races in total) I never realised how oblivious I was to a lot of things, or how oblivious others were.

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